It's 6am

and I've been up for the past three hours.

Thoughts of the wedding planning woke me up around 3:30 and I laid in bed worrying about all of the things we've yet to plan for about 2 hours. Finally, I came downstairs to do some online research.

Invitations, colors, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen suits, Brian's suit, activities to do in Mexico, favors for the gift bags, the honeymoon........the list goes on and on.

I guess it doesn't help that Brian and I are having a fondue party in two weeks to celebrate my birthday. Now we have that to plan, too. I guess that's my fault. I have to stop adding things to my list.

I hope YOU are sleeping right now.

And for what it's worth, Happy New Year!

If you are 0% away from a goal, has the goal been attained?

I am really looking forward to the next 11 days that will be spent out of the office.

Why? Because I feel very deflated right now.

I'm in sales. Sales people are incentivized by awards, recognition and of course, money. We have an annual trip called "Pacesetter" which is essentially a Presidents Club, Circle of Distinction or President's Council. If you hit a certain number in your sales, then you win this trip or take the money if you can't go. Those who hit it are typically in the top 2-5% of the company and we have about 4,400 sales people.

Yeah that's great, right? Too bad I missed my Pacesetter goal by...........

Wait for it.


Oh wait for it longer......





0.001%


Yep, that's right. That percentage equates to 455 bucks in sales. Did I mention my average fee is $22,000 charged to the client?

A week in Cancun (or $5,000) out the door. The real shitty part? I've talked to so many recruiters in other offices who in the past were 4k short, 12k short and one who was even $68,000 short and their bosses still let them win this trip. My boss? Not so much. I'm $455 bucks short and he said "A goal is a goal". Yes, he's right. A goal IS a goal and I wouldn't even go on the trip anyway since I'm getting married in Mexico 2 months after the trip will take place. But I have worked my butt off and put a lot of money in his pocket in the process. I AM a Pacesetter, regardless of winning the title. I have been recruiting for nearly 5 years and I am ranked 3rd in my office against guys who have been in the business 3 times longer than I have. The guy who was ranked 4th has been recruiting for 14 years. My point: I've held my own and I'm just really, really disappointed right now.

I guess good wasn't good enough this year. So there ya have it. That is why I am so ready to forget this job for the next 11 days and just enjoy myself. I'll try not to think about the fact that I was 0% away from a goal but the goal was still not attained.

And in March of 2009, I WILL be on the beach in the Dominican Republic. You can betch'er sweet ass on that.

Holiday Fun

I gathered up 8 of my closest girlfriends last night and headed to Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba for a fun night of tapas (yum!) and our 2nd (yes, that's right) Yankee Swap (also known as a White Elephant, Chinese Gift Exchange or Thieving Secret Santa). We had a lot of laughs as the gifts were swiped out of hands faster than they could be unwrapped.

Good times.

Tonight I'm headed to my company Holiday Party at Maggiano's, one of the best Italian joints in the city. Brian is at his company holiday party right now and unfortunately, we're both attending our company gigs stag. He's probably two sheets to the wind as I type this at 1:35pm and getting closer to the third sheet. (I've never really understood that phrase - oh wait - I just looked it up - check it out here.)

Next week is sure to be a ton of fun.......we're grabbing our snowboards, our pooch and jumping in the SUV to head up north. We're leaving on Christmas Day and plan to snowboard a few days and snowmobile another. I can't wait. Cooper loves the snow so it'll be a good time all around. Wisconsin is definitely not Whistler, but it'll give me a good chance to fine tune my 'boarding skills.

We're hoping to head back to our fine city to ring in the new year. If I don't post in the next few days, you'll know why.

Happy Holidays to all!!

"Why I love the number 27"

Last night, we went over to Akira so that I could use a gift certificate that was expiring. For all of you who don't live in Chicago, Akira is a retail store that is overtaking North Avenue just east of Damen in Bucktown. It started with a small store front for women. Then it opened a shoe store. Then the shore store expanded to purses and accessories. Then a men's store opened a few blocks down...then a men's shoe store....then the women's store bought the adjoining buildings and is now quite large. Anyhoo, they have everything under the sun from cheap sweaters, nice coats to the best designer jeans. There really is something for everyone, depending on your budget.

Since most of my jeans are too big now, you can imagine my joy when I found that all of their designer jeans were buy one, get one half off. That's when all of the fun began (well fun for ME, but not so much for Brian). They have a "Denim Specialist" on hand to assist shoppers with their selection of jeans and will explain the different fits, styles, washes and shades. She started cramming my dressing room with jeans of all styles (and if you know me, you know I love my jeans).

There I was in a room filled with Seven for all Mankind, Citizen of Humanity, Chip & Pepper, Hudson, Monarchy, Frankie B, Traverniti and William Rast OH MY! Where do I begin? Have I died and gone to jean heaven??

Just when I thought I hit a 'climax' of jean euphoria in that dressing room the unthinkable happened. As I was trying on my first pair of jeans, I look down and read the tag. It's a size 27. Not my NEW svelte size of 28 that I've been enjoying for the past 6 months, down from a 29. Okay, I won't lie, I've flirted with a size 30 along the way over the past few years. But THIS pair was a 27. "Surely it's a fluke", I thought to myself. "Surely they run big". So I rip them off and try on the next pair of 27's. They fit, too! And the third and the fourth....all 27's! Can it be? Can I really be a size 27 now???

And ya know what? It gets EVEN better. One of the pair of Monarchy's were too big (and they run small), so she brought me a size 26. Yes, a size 26. And yes indeed....they fit!!!

If you remember this rant about my experiences w/Belinda at Jenny Craig, then you remember what crap she gave me for not meeting my goal of 128. Well I'm very happy to report that I am now a solid 126/127. So stick it in your ear, Belinda!

So I walked out of Akira last night with a new pair of Citizen's and a new pair of William Rast jeans. BOTH a size 27. Might be small news for you, but it's big news for me.....an athletic girl who has struggled for her entire life to lose muscle and size in her legs while maintaining and active lifestyle. Couple that with emotional eating and it's a tough feat. But I did it. Not only have I lost 16 lbs since March, but I've kept it off. It hasn't been easy and I still have my good days and bad days, but I now have more good days than bad days. That's the key! I've learned what my body to needs, how much my body needs and when my body needs it.

So Merry Christmas to me!!! :)

One Year Ago Today

Brian and I got engaged.

Who knew it would take me a full twelve months to send out my Save the Date's. Yep, they went out today!! Mark that off the list!

PS - I highly recommend you visiting the post office at any other hour other than a lunch hour if you must mail something between now and Christmas. Or just stay away from the Post Office in the Sears Tower. That's 45 minutes of my life I'll never get back!

More on Huckabee

So I've found a few articles here that have shed some light on the Huckabees.

Mike IS an advocate for the fight against obesity. See this and this.

I've googled and googled but can't find how old that holiday card is. If it's older, then I stand corrected. If it's current, then I commend him for his fight against obesity, but I do feel very strongly that healthy eating habits and exercise need to start in the home.

The Poster-Family for Obesity in America

Look. I really wish this were a joke. Unfortunately, it's not.

This is the family Holiday Card for the Huckabees. Yes, as in Presidential-hopeful Mike Huckabee.

Even if I were a fan of Mike Huckabee and agreed with every single one of his political platforms, I would not vote for him. I refuse to elect a President for the United States who has a family that looks like this.

Do you think it's right to elect a heavy family (well at least 50% of them are heavy) into the White House to represent the fattest country in the world??

**If this blog offends you, then please refer to the above listed catch phrase.

Pray for my Step-Dad

When Brian and I were home for Thanksgiving, my Step-Dad received some pretty terrible news about his lifelong best friend. Johnny had stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. That was Thanksgiving morning.

Johnny passed away Saturday morning. Three very short weeks after finding out he had cancer.

Johnny would have celebrated his 50th Wedding Anniversary with his wife this summer. It's really so sad but the bright side is that my step-Dad was able to say Goodbye to his lifelong friend. Johnny not only knew he was loved, but he was surrounded by people who cared for him when he passed away.

Take some time this holiday season to take inventory of those who matter to you. Who do you love? Who haven't you told in a while? Who do you owe a phone call to? Have you had a riff with someone over something silly....is it time for that riff to end?? Remember what Oprah said, will it really matter on your dying day??

Pick up the phone or get in your car. Don't email or send a note. Show up at their doorstep and give that person a hug. If they don't live in your a city then pick up the phone and tell them...don't leave a voicemail.

And send a prayer or two out to my Step-Dad. He needs it right now.

Friday Wisdom

For Christmas last year, My Mom gave me a calendar filled with daily quotes and helpful hints for the "Busy Professional Woman of 2007" (that's me).

The past 2 quotes were actually pretty good.

Wednesday's read, "Wisdom consists of knowing what is not necessary". Boy does this hit home for me. Do you know many times I've had a temper tantrum or blew up at someone and it was totally unnecessary? Well, I can tell you that many, many times my tantrum's have been followed with Brian telling me, "Ya know that's totally not necessary". And....he's always right. I've been trying to make myself more aware of it, but sometimes that ole temper just flares right up out of nowhere.

I was watching Oprah the other day and she said something that has stuck with me since. She said, "When I'm really angry and really mad about something that has happened in my life, I stop and ask myself, 'On my dying day, will this situation really matter?'"

Wow.

Why haven't I been asking myself that for the past 32 years???? Instead, when I get upset about this or that, I have let it affect my day, my mood and sometimes even those around me. Unfortunately, I can't count the times I've been upset at something trivial and have snapped at Brian, an innocent bystander.

After I heard Oprah's comment, I'm very happy to report that when BMW called to tell me my car repairs might total $2200, I didn't get upset. It's only money. When I got home last night to find that Cooper had turned one of my brand new leather boots into an open-toed boot, I didn't get upset. They are only boots. This morning, when a man almost ran over my foot with his SUV because he was illegally chatting away on his cell phone while driving, oblivious to the fact that I had a "Walk" signal, I let it roll off my back. Why? Because I was safe and it's not necessary to let it bother me.

That's the moral of the quote from Wednesday, right? I've been so focused on what IS necessary that I have totally let the UNNECESSARY stuff fly under the radar.

Yesterday's quote reads, "When my life is over; I am curious if I will feel that I have lived it or just got through it".

What a great time of year to stop and reflect the decisions we've made in 2007. Brian is so busy right now and SO stressed out. He's got a lot going on and we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together lately due to work, holiday commitments and his 'second job' as a landlord. We keep telling each other that we'll make up for it during the holidays when we take a breather for a quick snowboarding trip. But is that okay? Should we putting off spending time together to get the other stuff taken care of?? It's easy to answer that by asking one simple question, "If, God forbid, anything happened to either of us tomorrow, would we regret the decision to put the trivial stuff before our relationship?"

I would absolutely regret that!

SO!!! Are you living your life? Or just getting through it? MAKE the time for your loved ones TODAY! Figure out what is necessary and most importantly, what is not necessary!!!!

"Don't Panic"

That's the phrase that keeps replaying in my brain.

Our wedding is four months from today.

FOUR MONTHS.

I'm trying to take deep breaths but the honest truth is that aside from my dress, our Save the Dates & the location, we have NOTHING planned.

HELP!

Raise Your Hand

Raise your hand if you've ever screwed up a recipe.

{Awesome, I'm in good company.}

Raise your hand if you've ever screwed up two recipes.

{Oh. Okay. Just a few of you.}

Raise your hand if you've ever screwed up two recipes in one night.

{Okay, the numbers are dwindling.}

Raise your hand if you've ever screwed up two recipes after 10pm the night before a party.

{I'm feeling lonely now.}

And finally raise your hand if you've found yourself at the grocery store at 10:30pm on a Tuesday replacing all of the ingredients for your cornbread (I know! It's JUST cornbread and it's very simple to make!) and your eggnog (Cut me some slack, I just found out that you can make it and not just buy it).

{So I'm the only one?}

Yeah so sometimes my kitchen is NOT my best friend. Okay I can be honest. My kitchen did nothing to me....it's what I did to myself. I was hurrying. It was late and I still had a million things to do. So instead of slowing down and reading the recipe, I poured 8 cups of milk into my eggnog even though I already purchased 7 cans of evaporated milk and they were sitting right there on the counter in front of me. And when I read the recipe and saw vanilla I knew we had some vanilla in the cupboard....but didn't realize the recipe called for ONE QUARTER OF A CUP vanilla. I mean, come on! I've only used vanilla for baking and I've NEVER used more than a teaspoon. How was I supposed to know I needed that much?

And the cornbread. Yeah, let's not even talk about the cornbread. First I put the shortening in with the eggs and milk and started mixing.......and mixed some more..........and still some more.....but the shortening was just moving around in the bowl with the eggs and milk. Oh, hey! Look at that that! I needed MELTED shortening....

Well since I needed the remaining 12 eggs for eggnog, I had to drain my egg/milk substance into a colander and scoop out all the chunks of shortening to melt them. Seriously, I did this. My kitchen looked like a war zone and it didn't help that Brian was standing on the counter replacing our 3 pendants lights that shorted out on us this weekend. I couldn't tell if the counter was covered in sawdust or powdered sugar. Did it really matter?

Needless to say when the cornbread came out of the oven, it was so dry I almost choked trying to swallow a bit. It had no taste. Maybe I accidentally used sawdust instead of flour??

So on the 2nd time around I used vegetable oil instead of shortening and that seemed to do the trick. I was too tired to wait for it to cool off and try it, so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well with the chili tonight.

Oh, the lights look really nice! Brian did a great job!!

Sooner or later, I'll develop some SKILLZ in the kitchen.

The List Keeps Growing

It seems the faster I check tasks off my list the sooner they are added.

Brian and I were busy all weekend organizing and preparing for the holiday party that I'm hosting for my women's networking group. Brian has graciously volunteered to make his awesome chili but was testing various recipes in the kitchen all day yesterday.

Between now and Wednesday I have to:

1. Go to the dentist this afternoon
2. Buy a gift for our Yankee Gift Swap
3. Make the corn bread muffins
4. Make eggnog (for 25)
5. Drop off my car at the shop on Tuesday AM
6. (Hopefully) Pick up my car from the shop on Tuesday PM
7. Pick up my food at Jenny
8. Find some time to do some cardio at the gym (so I can enjoy the eggnog without feeling guilty)
9. Finish my holiday business cards (I think I only have about 20 left!)
10. Install Microsoft Office on my Mom's laptop
11. Send laptop to Ohio

Okay I guess the latter two don't have to be done by Wednesday, but the rest do. I wish we could have about 10 more hours in a day, but I'd easily settle for 5.

Did I mention I haven't even started my holiday shopping yet??

Pearl Harbor Day...

...has a very special meaning to many, many American's.

For my family, the day is very special to us, also, but has a much different meaning. Today would have my brother's 35th birthday. Thirty Five years old!!! I can't believe he's been gone for 14 years and I often wonder what his life would have been like today.

I don't think it was a mistake that he was born on the day that America was attacked by the Japanese. If you knew my brother, you understood the irony. You knew that his life was a constant war. Sometimes it was a war that he waged only with himself. Other times, he seemed to recruit others to fight in his war along side him and other times, those same people were on opposing sides. Sometimes I fought against him, others I fought beside him. Either way, we were always fighting. It was absolutely emotionally exhausting to witness, much less take part in.

My brother's life of a very short 20 years was filled with excitement, drama and most of all....chaos. Thinking back on his life, it seems almost as if he wasn't happy unless there was some sort of chaos surrounding him. His mind was always churning; I don't know that he ever had a peaceful day in his entire life. He rarely rested. He was always on the go and in motion. Unfortunately, as a single mother of a 2 teenagers, this certainly wasn't easy on my Mom. Every time the door bell rang, her heart stopped. Many times it was just the paper boy, or a kid selling candy, or a telemarketer. But even as a woman who is 32 years old, I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for my Mom to constantly live in fear of her son's safety knowing that his constant need for speed or need for "chaos" would ultimately result in his demise. She knew in her heart of hearts that Dennis was his own worst enemy. Hell, we all did. But we were still rooting for him to turn it around. He wrestled with some inner demons that no one ever understood and to this day, we still can't quite wrap our minds around where those demons came from. He was a troubled young man who despite many, many attempts to get his life together ultimately took three steps back after taking two steps forward. That was the story of his life.

When that doorbell rang on Friday the 13th during a hot August evening in 1993, my Mom's worst fears were realized. She knew instantly that Dennis' antics had finally done him in. He had borrowed a friend's motorcycle and took it out for a spin. He was going very fast on a residential street and ended up colliding with a car that was pulling out of a driveway. Rumor's have spun that he was being chased by someone, but that was never proven. Due to the fact that he was not wearing a helmet, he suffered from severe head injuries and survived on life support for 4 days. He passed away on August 17th.

I know raising him wasn't easy for my Mom. On that note, I know I didn't help matters much, either, with my own shenanigan's. But what I do know is that I'm thinking of my brother today and I certainly know my Mom is thinking of my brother today and I think we are both thinking the same thing. We are both hoping that he is finally at peace.

And you know what? When my Mom's doorbell rings now, I'm sure her heart doesn't stop anymore. Although I miss him dearly, I'm grateful that my Mom has finally found peace, too.

Happy Peaceful Birthday, Dennis.

Ladies and Gentleman.....

Our Christmas Tree!!!

O Christmas Tree!

Our Christmas Tree is lit and decorated and it looks beautiful! I didn't have a chance to snap a picture yet but will do so tonight.

After we finished the tree last night, we took Cooper outside to enjoy the first real snowfall. He loves the snow. He prances around like a little reindeer and its so funny. The snow was perfect for packing snowballs so we would ball one up, show it to him and then throw it....he would chase it down the street and then stop and wonder where in the hell it went as it broke into a million little pieces in front of him. It was really quite amusing. He loves to eat the snow and he thinks it's the greatest thing when Brian and I would pelt him with snowballs. We were all soaked......but it was worth it.

Oh, to embrace the snow!!

Come April, when the bottoms of my pants are camoflouged white with salt and the snow is a lovely shade of yellowish brown and I've gone through 4 packs of pocket Kleenex and our carpets are dirty from the crap Cooper drags in.....let's see how much I'll be embracing the snow then. But it's not April yet!

It's December and the first snowfall is upon us! Enjoy it!!!!

Doncha just hate....

To-Do Lists?

I just l-l-l-l-love checking things OFF my lists but I just cringe with disgust when I look at my To-Do list and it's riddled with time-consuming, mind-numbing laborious tasks.

What's on my list currently???

1. Addressing and sending over 100 (more) holiday business cards (complete with a personalized note on each).
2. Decorating the Christmas tree, including stringing the lights. I hate the lights!
3. Loading Windows XP onto my Mom's new laptop that we gave her for Christmas. Too bad mine was sent in for repair and now I'm using hers (your a life saver, Mom!)! It came with Windows Vista and anyone who knows about Vista knows why I'll be putting XP on it.
4. Sending out over 100 Save-the-Dates when the arrive.
5. Sitting down with my Maid of Honor to sort shower dates & details, bridesmaid dress details, etc.
6. On the same note, picking out colors and themes & wedding gifts for the big day.
7. Preparing for our holiday party that is less than 2 weeks away.
8. Christmas shopping.........uggh, I haven't even started!
9. Taking my car into shop.....more money out the door.

What have I recently checked OFF the list?
1. Bridal shower Thank-You's!
2. I've sent about 40 holiday business cards so far
3. Outdoor Christmas Decorations (Oh okay, Brian did that, but it's checked off the list regardless)

Well I obviously have lots to do....so buh bye!!!

Mmmm, pot roast!

I am a little embarrassed to admit this, but I am 32 yrs old and yesterday I made my first pot roast. Yep, it is true. With all of the wonderful gifts we received during my bridal shower in Ohio, Brian and I have a new lease on our cooking life.

The pot roast was freakin' amazing and we both agreed that my first crock pot-made meal was a huge success! Yesterday we also broke out our brand new Kitchen Aid mixer and made cookies. Those, on the other hand, were not such a huge success. In an effort to try to make lower-calorie sweets, I used the Splenda substitutes for both white and brown sugar and I'm afraid the cookie taste resembled something along the lines of a very sweet saw dust. Yuk!

Saturday morning we broke out the new griddle and made eggs, hash browns and 2 kinds of bacon (the regular stuff for B, turkey bacon for me). Cooper was living the high life this weekend when we poured all the bacon grease over his food on Saturday and Sunday he got to eat the left over pot roast that we didn't use in the crock pot.

While the pot roast was cooking, we ventured out to get a Christmas Tree. We haven't had the time to decorate it yet, but we got a gorgeous Douglas Fir from Home Depot. Yeah, no trips to the forest for our tree.....we got straight to Home Depot for ours! What can we say? We're city dwellers!!

Happy December to ya!