The JC Nazi

No, JC is not referring to Jesus Christ. JC, in my current world, is Jenny Craig. Yes, I'm still on JC and have been since March. What can I say? I'm lazy. JC makes my life easier.....I go, I pick up my food, I eat it. Do you think I have time to make pancakes and sausage each morning? French toast with fresh berries? Cheesy Enchiladas that are less than 300 calories for lunch? Not "NO", but "HELL NO".

I lost about 14 lbs since I started JC and I've kept it off. I didn't really need to lose a lot of weight, but it's always easier to go into a race season lighter. Running long distances puts muscle on your legs and triathlon training always builds more muscle; it's just inevitable you gain weight during training season. So why start at a higher weight?

So that brings me to the ONLY downside of this program and that is Belinda the JC Nazi. Or should I say, "Baaaahh-lynnnnnn-duh" in my "Hello, Neuman" voice? Yes, that's better.

Belinda is the Program Director at JC and she's pissed me off so much that I've almost walked out three times (the only reason I stayed was the thought of me standing over a stove). After my initial 6 weeks and 14 lbs of weight loss, I had to meet with her to decide my next step in the program. The convo went like this...
Belinda: So I see that you haven't quite reached your goal yet, Deanna.
Deanna: Well, I made my goal 125 and I'm 129 and down to a size 2. I don't think I want to get much smaller so maybe I need to change that goal.
Belinda: I see. So let's discuss why you haven't reached that goal yet.
Deanna: Ummm, I'm pretty happy at the size I am now. I have a lot of muscle tone that accounts for my weight...ya know, muscle weighs more than fat. I was actually thinking of increasing my calories as my training season is starting and I will be burning more calories.
Belinda: Ri-iiight. Well do you think you'll hit your goal of 125 by increasing your calories?
Deanna: Ummm, AGAIN, I'm pretty HAPPY with my size and I think that GOAL should be CHANGED. {but what I was thinking was "WTF? Am I speaking too fast or should I slooooow it doowwwn forrr youuuu Belin-DUH?"}

So you get the picture. The girl actually looks down her nose at any client in the center as if they are a cow with a feeding trough around their necks. It literally takes every ounce of control to not shake her by the shoulders and say "Look bitch, I'm smaller than you are! Why the hell are you talking to me like this? YOU should be on this program, not me! I just come for the food, dammit!!! I'M NOT A FAILURE BECAUSE I DIDN'T HIT 125!!!!!"

{taking deep breaths}

Complaint #2: My wonderful JC consultant is this Aussie girl named Karin. I love Karin. She's down to earth, funny and she doesn't take herself too seriously like the JC Nazi. Plus she reminds me of Olivia Newton John as a brunette. We have the same feeling of extreme repugnance towards Belinda and dish about her all the time behind her back (I know, I'm going to hell but I'll see Belinda down there!!).

Karin gives me the little ordering sheet and I mark down all of the food that I need for the next 7 days. 2 of this, 1 of this, 3 of that... Well one day, Karin was sick.....and the only consultant that could accommodate me was the bitch that is Belinda. She's behind the counter and the convo went like this:
Deanna: Since Karin isn't here, I'd just like to order my food.
Belinda: Okay, would you like to weigh in?
Deanna: No, it's fine. My weight hasn't changed in 10 weeks so we can skip it.
Belinda: Well, that's why we are here. To help you stay accountable for yourself.
Deanna: If you think I need to, I can just jump on the scale while I'm waiting for my food and you can jot it down in my chart.
Belinda: Oh, well, a consultant would have to go with you to ensure it's accurate.
Deanna: So are you saying that I'd lie?
Belinda: No it's just company policy.
Deanna: Great, than I'll just order food, thanks.
Belinda: {With pen in hand and the sheet in front of her} Okay, Deanna, just go ahead and tell me what you want.
Deanna: Well it would much easier if I could just mark it off myself.
Belinda: Ohhhhh I'm afraid we can't do that. It's against company policy that clients write on the ordering forms.
Deanna: Why's that?
Belinda: Because you might order something that is out of stock.
Deanna: Oh, well why don't you just tell me what is out of stock and I won't order it?
Belinda: Because it's company policy and we can't do that.
Deanna: Grrrrrrrrr

So I grab the food menu and I pretty much made the next 10 minutes of her life the most annoying 10 minutes of her day simply because she basically asked for it. Hey, if she's gonna sleep better knowing she wrote down my order, then FINE. But I'm not gonna let her enjoy it. This is how the rest of the convo went:

Deanna: 1 french toast
Deanna: 1 turkey burger
Deanna: {long pause} 1 rotini w/meatballs
Deanna: How many lunches is that?
Belinda: 2
Deanna: How many french toasts did I order?
Belinda: 1
Deanna: Okay, make that 2. {long pause} 1 turkey with gravy. Hmmm, do I feel like potstickers? Sure. 1 potsticker {she marks the sheet}. Noooo, I just had that. Take it off. {she marks the sheet again}. Ah, what the hell, I can have it at the end of the week. Put 1 on there {she marks the sheet}. Make that 2 {she marks the sheet and a little steam leaked from her left ear}.
Deanna: How many lunches is that?
Belinda: FOUR.
Deanna: Oh, I thought it was five? Can you read them off to me?
Belinda: 1 rotini, 1 turkey burger, 2 potstickers.
Deanna: Didn't I order a turkey?
Belinda: That's a dinner item.
Deanna: Oh, but I eat them for lunch so I consider it to be a lunch item. How many french toasts did I order {heehee}?? Did you add the syrup?
Belinda: Yes, I did.
Deanna: Okay, well add pancakes w/sausage {she marks the sheet}. Did you add the syrup?
{more steam, but this time out of both ears}

You get the picture; this went on for a good 10 minutes and that ordering sheet was a hot mess by the time she had to key it into the computer. So the moral of the story: if you are going to try to control a control freak, you are going to get controlled, biatch.