Why spray tanning isn't always the best idea

Here is a picture of Mariah Carey and her new husband, Nick Cannon.

The person in charge of her tanning airbrush should be fired.

Scorpion Dreams

So the crazy dreams continue.

This time it wasn't about my wedding dress being stolen by my photographer. This time it was more personal.

In my dream, I was at my Mother in Law's house sleeping on her couch. The scene was actually the living room in the house I grew up in. My Aunt Marcia (well, technically, Brian's Aunt Marcia) was sleeping on the couch across from me.

From the other couch she whispers my name in a frantic voice trying to wake me up. "Deanna! Deanna!!!!" I open my eyes from a deep slumber and look over to her and she continues her loud nervous whispers. "Look at the floor! LOOK AT THE FLOOR!"

I look down to find scorpions, yes Scorpions, all over the place. And these weren't your average 2 inch scorpions that I used to see in Arizona. These suckers were like 8 inches long! So in my dream, I turn on the light that is next to the couch and all of the scorpions scattered all over the place...under the couch, into the walls, out of the room.

What in the WORLD could that dream mean??

I looked up "Dreams about Scorpions" and this is what I found:

To see a scorpion in your dream, represents a situation in your waking life which may have been painful or hurtful. It is also indicative of destructive feelings, "stinging" remarks, bitter words and/or negative thoughts being expressed by or aimed against you. Your dream forewarns of a self-destructive and self-defeating path. The scorpion is also a symbol of death and rebirth. You need to get rid of the old and make room for something new. Alternatively, the scorpion may also represent a person who is born under the astrological sign for Scorpio.

I guess if I really wanted to do a deep dive into my inner-psyche, then it would point to the fact that I am walking down the aisle in 9 days and there are probably all kinds of feelings emerging from my subconscious. When a bride walks down the aisle, she is usually accompanied by her father. But not this bride. This bride will be accompanied by her Mother because her father hasn't been in her life for many years due to all of the pain he has caused (and when I started talking in 3rd person, I don't know).

And guess what? My good ole Dad? He's a Scorpio.

I think the fact that I was in my MIL's house and was warned by Aunt Marcia was symbolic of feeling protected by my new family from the scorpions. So while the dream might have been crazy, I think it shows me I am ready for the death of the relationship with my Dad and the rebirth of my new extended family.

Does anyone agree? Or am I just losing my mind the week before my wedding?

Why I love Technology

So my blog about my February 23rd Bachelorette Party is way overdue. I hope that doesn't mean you have some crazy expectation of wild stories of a bunch of girls swinging from the rafters because if you do, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

The party was super fun. I had girlfriends come in from Arkansas, Ohio and Wisconsin….so that was super awesome. They stayed with me and it was nice to catch up and have some real girly time. My friend Loretta was the first to arrive. She came straight to my office in the Loop from the airport. We ran tons of errands including picking up my wedding invitations, wedding shoes and hit Trader Joes for some fresh goodies. We then made it over to my friend, Hollys, who does hair and makeup for weddings. She’s coming down to Mexico…….SCORE! So yes, I will have my own personal stylist on board the entire time. How ya like them apples? Holly did both Loretta’s and my makeup as a dry run for the wedding. Brian thought I looked like a hooker….I agreed we need to go a bit more natural for the big day but it was nice for a night out. After my 2 other friends got in from the airport, we all headed to Mizu for sushi which was delish.



Saturday we did what girls do best = shopped. Liz and I headed back over to Holly’s in the afternoon and she did our makeup once again for the bachelorette party. Liz and Loretta are both bridesmaids so Holly will be doing their makeup in Mexico, too. The party was nice. All of my friends came over for appetizers, drinks and of course, gifts! Let me just say right here that my friends are awesome. The food was great, the drinks were tasty and their gifts were fantastic.



We jumped in 3 cabs and headed to The Underground, a new dance club, and a got a table for bottle service. This is where the whole Technology thing comes in.

These 2 guys come over and start talking to me. They ask what the occasion is and I tell them it’s my Bachelorette Party. You would think that they’d say “Oh hey, congrats” and then move on to one of my 15 single friends sitting with me. Uh uh. This guy kept trying to hold my hand, told me how beautiful I am.......yada yada yada…….WHATEVER! Why don’t you just go find another girl to chat it up with as I’m clearly NOT interested and PS - I'M GETTING MARRIED!?! So to cut to the chase, I introduced him to my friend, Loretta and told him that she just completed her PhD and introduced her as Dr. West. At that point he tells me that he plays for the NBA. "So?" I said. He replies, “Well you're telling me she’s got her PhD so I told you what I do”. Okay, fair enough. So a little while and a shot later, they finally moved along to the next table of hotties. I grab friends iPhone and googled this young man. Of course the first thing that came up was THIS Wikipedia page, complete with his latest mugshot. Seriously! How freakin’ awesome is technology that while you are IN the club, you can google these guys and find their laundry lists of legal woes AND the fact that he did NOT play for the NBA but he played for their "Summer League". Oh, and the fact that this guy held a knife to his girlfriends throat and sexually assaulted her was proof enough that my friend, Loretta, need not continue the conversation with him. After the night progressed Pierre came back around. I was sitting against the wall when he motions over to me to come and talk to him. I shook my head and rubbed one of my index fingers over the other one letting him know he was a bad boy. He looked puzzled and say "What?" So I put two fists next to my face, making it look like I was behind bars. Probably not the brightest thing to do to an ex-con jailed for sexual assault. But hey, I WAS up to my eyeballs with liquid courage and walked away with a great story to tell you.

The next day he sent a Text Message to Lo. (yeah that's what I said....WHY did she give him her number? She said it was before we googled him....uh huh!) So Pierre asks her if she had fun and of course, I felt the need to take control of this situation. I had her text him back, "Of course I had fun! Any day I can enjoy my freedom is a great day! Wouldn't YOU agree?"

His response: Crickets.

This is good ole Pierre on the right:



Oh and I guess a big-time Chicago DJ was next to us at the neighboring table and I took a picture with him. I’m not from Chicago so when his buddies were telling me he was THE Jonathan Brandmeier I just replied with, “So?” So here is the picture with THE Jonathan Brandmeier. I know. So?

Why I love Ellen Degeneres

Now THIS is freakin' hilarious!!!

You must watch THIS!!! It's a riot! And if you are at work, use headphones, but TURN IT UP!

Stop Hitting the Bottle

So I love the tracking software I use on this blog. It shows me how people found the site whether it was by an internet search, a blog, an email, etc.

Today as I was perusing the hits, I noticed that someone found me by typing the following phrase in Google:

"sexy ass by bottle and free trails"

Well I'm doubtful they meant "trails" and pretty sure they were looking for free "trials", but I admit to giggling out loud when I read that.

So how in the world did that phrase get them to MY blog? My sexy ass is from Jenny Craig and XSport Fitness...no thanks to a bottle, thankyouverymuch!!

Britney, Britney, Britney

Oh, Britney.

THIS is very, very sad.

I fought the urge to enter a date (because then I'd really be going to hell in a hand basket), but I did read some of the condolences.

More on Huckabee

So I've found a few articles here that have shed some light on the Huckabees.

Mike IS an advocate for the fight against obesity. See this and this.

I've googled and googled but can't find how old that holiday card is. If it's older, then I stand corrected. If it's current, then I commend him for his fight against obesity, but I do feel very strongly that healthy eating habits and exercise need to start in the home.

The Poster-Family for Obesity in America

Look. I really wish this were a joke. Unfortunately, it's not.

This is the family Holiday Card for the Huckabees. Yes, as in Presidential-hopeful Mike Huckabee.

Even if I were a fan of Mike Huckabee and agreed with every single one of his political platforms, I would not vote for him. I refuse to elect a President for the United States who has a family that looks like this.

Do you think it's right to elect a heavy family (well at least 50% of them are heavy) into the White House to represent the fattest country in the world??

**If this blog offends you, then please refer to the above listed catch phrase.

Does this many ANY sense?

I recruit in the food industry so I get a lot of publications and newsletters via email. THIS little survey crossed my desk today and I just keep scratching my head when I read it.

"Eating at home more" tops reasons that people bypass restaurants.

I get the other factors: price of gasoline, financial situation, too high in calories. So if you aren't eating at a restaurant, then you are eating at home, right??

WELL NO SHIT!!!!! THANKS FOR THE TIDBIT!

Next thing ya know they'll be publishing a report that reads, "#1 reason people don't go in the rain is to avoid getting wet". Kindly let me know when you want to share some REAL news with me, thankyouverymuch.

Gettin' Jiggy Wid It

Oh Madonna, we never knew you swung THIS way!

Tornado in the city??

Whoa.....we had some serious crazy weather today in our fine city. Now did you hear about the tornado in Brooklyn recently? Yeah, who would think THAT could happen?

Apparently, that's what happened in Chicago today. One of my coworkers got a call from his wife from their suburban home telling him that their trampoline was picked up and thrown right through their wood fence. Even though that may suck, tornado's are pretty common in the southern burbs where they live. The good news is that she and the kids were safe. Then another coworker gets a frantic call from his wife who works on the 73rd floor of a Michigan Ave building around 3pm because she was being evacuated to the basement of her building. WTF? A tornado? DOWNTOWN?

I log on to my weatherbug and sure enough, there is a Tornado WARNING for my zip code.....in Lincoln Park. Yes, "warning"...as in, "twister spotted". It already looked like death outside and all of a sudden the building shook for 6 straight seconds (okay it doesn't seem long but it sure as hell does when you are IN the building).

I left work and getting home from downtown
seemed pretty uneventful. As I drove north to pick up my dog from daycare, I saw trees down all over the place...but it got worse as I went north. The daycare told me they had a huge branch that snapped in their backyard but all of the dogs were safe.

Brian and I got home around the same time and we couldn't even drive through our gate since our power was out; forcing us to drive around to our back gate. Just in the two block drive to the back gate I saw at least 4 trees down and debris scattered EVERYWHERE. I pull up to the garage door and the first thing I notice is all of the water is completely drained out of our pond. Can someone explain to me how 35 gallons of water gets removed from a pond during a torrential downpour?? Or was it sucked out?

We head up to the rooftop deck to check out the damage. If my camera wasn't broken, I'd take some pics right now. We find our heavy teak furniture was all over and in disarray. The hot tub cover that is too heavy for me to lift was halfway off the hot tub. The flowers...trashed. Cushions from the furniture....missing. The worst part was that one of the posts of our deck was moved in about 6 inches which snapped the deck walls that were attached.

Just as we were about to straighten up the roof, it starts pouring again. Storm #2 is in full effect. Our power is back on though and the weather seems to be calming down, BUT, there are still flash flood warnings and severe thunderstorm warnings.

Great. ANOTHER storm is on the way?

Someone should call my boss and reassure him that he's right. There is no such thing as Global Warming and it sure as heck doesn't wreak havoc on our weather. :\

For more pictures, check out http://www.chicagotribune.com/ or http://www.suntimes.com/.

Gam's Unlimited

How does THIS happen?